In any relationship, disagreements are bound to come up at one time or another. How you and your partner handle differences of opinion may strengthen or destroy your relationship.

If you find that you and your partner are arguing constantly, it’s time to evaluate the relationship. But if your arguments are occasional or rare, understanding the difference between constructive and destructive arguments may help you avoid causing your relationship unnecessary harm.

1. What is the argument about? Once you have identified the conflict, then stick to the point and don’t let it stray to other issues.

2. Find time to talk it out Don’t start a discussion that you don’t have time to finish. You might even have to schedule your argument for a time when you are both ready and in a place that is suitable. Don’t argue when you are hungry, tired or upset!

3. Start sentences with “I” and not “You” Saying things like “You hurt me when…” or “You never do this for me…” are accusatory and blaming. Better to say “I feel hurt when…” or “I would like more help doing this…”.

4. Listen If you are preparing your response the entire time your mate is talking, you aren’t really hearing what they are saying. Try to understand how your mate feels. It must be important to him/her or you wouldn’t be having the discussion in the first place.

5. Don’t throw out insults Calling your partner lazy or stupid is going to turn the dicussion into a name-calling session and the problem will only get worse. Your partner is unlikely to listen to your point of view at that point.

6. Don’t be afraid to voice your feelings Let your partner know how strongly you feel about the issue, but also let him/her know how you feel about your relationship, and that you want to better it by resolving the conflict.

7. Don’t be defensive If you take the disagreement as a criticism of you, you will likely withdraw and not express your true feelings or opinions. Try to focus on the issue.

8. Stop if the argument becomes heated Agree to take a break from the argument if either of you becomes angry or needs to calm down. Taking time out is better than allowing the discussion to become destructive rather than constructive.

9. Don’t bring others into the argument Repeating what others think of the situation may work against you. Keep personal issues personal to avoid feelings of betrayal of trust.

10. Be willing to concede Winning is not the important thing in an argument but it is in your relationship.

Valentine’s Day will be upon us soon and the pressure to find the perfect Valentine card, gift and way to spend the holiday can be daunting. But saying “I Love You” isn’t something that should be reserved only for birthdays, anniversaries and other special days - find a way to say it every day and the flame of romance in your relationship will never die out.

Here are some simple ways to say “I Love You”:

Leave your lover special notes Write little love notes and leave them in places your significant other is sure to find them. A sticky note on the bathroom mirror or a special love note tucked inside a pocket that he or she will find later. It’s a wonderful way to let your lover know you are thinking about her or him all the time.

Cook a meal together For a really special dinner, prepare it together. Sharing the duties and creating your meal together will make it all the more enjoyable and there’s always the opportunity for a little hug and kiss to add spice and flavor.

Turn off the TV and dance Put on some of your favorite music and dance together. You don’t have to go out to a club to share a romantic dance and you may be surprised where it leads.

Flirt At unexpected times, give him/her a longing look and tell your lover how attractive he/she is to you. A little flirting goes a long way in keeping romance alive.

Public displays of affection This just means that you hold hands, hug, or share a brief, affectionate kiss. More than that may not be appropriate behavior in a public place, but the fact that you show affection in front of others will do a lot to let your lover know that you are glad and proud to be with him/her and aren’t afraid to let others know it too.

Love must be nurtured to thrive and grow. Be creative and find ways to say “I Love You” every day.