Scientists have discovered that much of that heady first response that we call love may be thanks to the release of a chemical in our brains. The protein, a type of neurotrophin, gives rise to the feelings we associate with falling in love.

Not only that, but apparently these effects wear off after a time, allowing the extreme early feelings to mellow into a less passionate but potentially more stable relationship with the loved one. Which is something of a relief, since the headline announces that “Romantic love lasts just a year” - for a moment I thought we’d all been doomed to very brief relationships indeed.

These researches into the mechanisms of our feelings are all very interesting and worthy, I’m sure, but too often a crucial question is never asked. It may well be true that this neurotrophin is responsible for the feelings we experience in the first flush of love but what causes the chemical to be released in the first place? It seems to me that the chemical is much more a result than a cause and that the scientists are trying to catch a will o’ the wisp in all this.

By Clive Allen

Throughout the ages, men have known that the way to a woman’s heart is little gentle flattery. Compliments, they knew, were the lubricants of successful encounters with the opposite sex.

Now, the latest research shows, women need to be complimented five times a day — minimum.

According to a survey carried out by Loire Valley White Wines, nine out of ten women say they love to be complimented. However, only 16 percent thought they received their five a day. Two-thirds thought they were being complimented less than they were five years ago, and believed gentle flattery was becoming a lost art.

Modern feminism seems to have a lot to answer for, because 21st-century men assume a compliment will cause offence. On the other side of the track, most women are highly likely to suspect the motives of anyone offering an admiring comment.

Relationship expert Christine Webber says, “In my experience, women do care a great deal about what people think about them. A compliment massively boosts self-esteem. And while it may seem frivolous, it is in fact a vital ingredient for well-being.”

She adds that many men are terrified of an innocent remark being wrongly interpreted. “I think political correctness and fear of saying the wrong thing is the main cause of men failing to compliment women who are not their partners.”

As many as 81 percent wanted to be complimented on their hair or clothing, while 79 percent longed to hear they are stylish, and 73 percent that they looked slimmer.

Webber added, “We have busy lives and people tend to assume a lot and forget to say things. And yet compliments can act like oil in an engine — they help everything to run smoother. Couples who give frequent compliments to one another tend to treat each other with courtesy and respect and that helps keep their relationships alive.”

Why has the practice of holding hands endured through the centuries?

Holding hands is a wonderful gesture of affection and connection that doesn’t offend anyone (the way a steamy public kiss might) and yet symbolizes an intimacy that goes beyond sexual intimacy. Holding your partner’s hand says much more about what the relationship means. It offers comfort. It offers support and promises protection. It proclaims friendship, love, affection and that you are truly partnered in life. When you walk hand-in-hand you are going forward together, bonded to each other.

Not only that but studies have shown that just the touch of a partner’s hand can reduce stress and fear, making you less anxious in stressful situations. Perhaps we learned this sense of security when we were young and a protective parent held our hands as we navigated through childhood. Humans crave touch, and non-sexual touch can create feelings of peace and happiness as well as bestowing other physical benefits.