As a holistic therapist I’ve observed that many of my clients present with dysfunctional or failed relationships and much of their life energy is placed into seeking a harmonious union with someone special.

So often, people walk away from relationships that haven’t worked for them without looking deeper at the reasons why or exploring the dynamics of change.

This week, I’ve been immersing myself in poetry and prose. The written word is such a powerful tool and because much of my work is involved with understanding the human condition – body and soul - it fascinates me how a few heartfelt words of prose or verse can express so much in such a touching way.

As a true romantic and a believer in synchronicity, perhaps that is why I stumbled across The Culture of Honouring Project, based in Devon, UK. I was blown away by this extract from their free e-book.

Their work takes a unique perspective on transforming relationships based on the principle of re-honouring the masculine and feminine. It is sure to ring true to anyone who has experienced pain and grief in a relationship and certain to raise our romantic goals and aspirations. The e-book can be downloaded at cultureofhonouring.co.uk

The Three Men

The First Man can be powerful,
but he is emotionally under-developed,
and therefore often destructive.
He is a man’s man.

The Second Man is sensitive,
and well-intended,
but his guilt and shame make him weak.
He is a woman’s man.

The Third Man is uncompromisingly committed
to himself ~
to his own truth and life and death.

Because of this
he is powerful and sensitive enough to hear Woman,
and be guided by her.
Because of this
Woman lets this Man lead her.

The Three Women

The First Woman is tender and kind,
but afraid.
Because she is afraid
she disempowers herself,
competes with her ‘sisters’,
and colludes with the abusive power of First Man.

The Second Woman is righteous, but reactive.
She feels liberated and empowered.
She is in solidarity with her ‘sisters’.
She refuses to collude.
She condemns First Man,
and scorns the weakness of Second Man.
She is angry.

The Third Woman knows
the power of Woman ~
the power of the fiercely vulnerable heart.
She is not in imitation of the power of Man.
Her power is the power of inter-connectedness,
and surrender to the wisdom of her body.

Third Woman welcomes
the penetration of Third Man
because he doesn’t take, he gives.
He doesn’t enter her from need,
but from presentness and desire.

Third Woman delights
in his physical and emotional penetration
because he doesn’t use her,
he honours her.

Rhian Gibbings

Have you ever wondered where the phrase “sowing your wild oats” came from? Well, it’s a fact that the sexually stimulating effects of oats have been known for years.

It has been widely reported that eating porridge oats can balance the hormones and boost testosterone levels, which has a direct effect on the libido.

However, oats are responsible for much more than that, according to “wise woman”, Susun Weed, who states that oats and oatstraw are a modern-day love potion.

It’s claimed that oats and oatstraw clear fatty deposits from the blood, lowering cholesterol levels and easing the beat of the heart. Weed says that that oats will nourish the nerves so that you receive more pleasure from touch, revitalise the glands so that hormones flow more readily and increase the blood flow so that it can circulate freely to the pelvis.

In addition, Oats can stabilise the blood sugar levels so that you’re not dropping off when the action heats up!

In her book, Healing Wise, Weed suggests a daily dose of fresh Oatstraw Tincture, or 1-4 cups of Oatstraw infusion every day, will act as a rejuvenator and love potion. Oatstraw baths are also recommended as a “delicious experience”.

If you don’t fancy that, however, perhaps a nice warm bowl of porridge in bed on a winter morning will do the trick!

Source: Susun Weed — Healing Wise

Rhian Gibbings

Mention love poetry and most people will think of Shakespeare’s sonnets. Yet time moves on and some things become dated by their mode of expression; there are modern love poems that express more aptly what it is to be in love today.

Perhaps the greatest writer of love poetry in the last 100 years or so was the American poet, E.E. Cummings (often written in lower case - opinion is divided as to whether he actually insisted on this or not). He was also known for an avant garde approach to writing, his use of punctuation, capitalization and word placement being highly individual. But the effect of these breaks from tradition was to give his poetry an intense power as it forced us to see things through new eyes.

Consider how this poem, Somewhere I have never travelled, speaks to us of emotions felt so deeply that they are almost beyond expression:

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

Does it happen? Or, more to the point, does it last? Everyone has an opinion and it probably depends upon your own life experience as to how you answer the question. Even scientists have had a go at this one, conducting learned studies (like this one, reported in American Scientist) that seem to ask more questions than they answer.

Then there are the ones who have decided that it’s impossible and are prepared to say so. This post from AfterOphelia is an example. Others are more prepared to admit the possibility, although it seems that this happens more often if you Ask Men.

Sometimes, however, a story comes along that gives the romantics new hope. Consider this charming story from the BBC, the story of Richard Jones and Penny McCarthy. Perhaps it does happen, after all.