In a world where nearly half of all marriages end in divorce, a story about a couple in Maine who are celebrating their 80th wedding anniversary is rare enough to make news.

Kathleen and Waldo Tarbell were married on April 9, 1927 in Calais, Maine. Waldo worked for the railroad and Kathleen worked in a factory, packing sardines. Waldo made 37 cents an hour and Kathleen got 25 cents for every 100-can case of sardines she packed. Life wasn’t easy, but together they managed to raise two kids and stay together.

Today they have multiple grandchildren, great grandchildren and great-great grandchildren. Family members and friends across the generations will attend the party that will be held in the couple’s large room at the Oceanview Nursing Home.

Former Pembroke couple to celebrate 80 years of marriage The Bangor Daily News

Why has the practice of holding hands endured through the centuries?

Holding hands is a wonderful gesture of affection and connection that doesn’t offend anyone (the way a steamy public kiss might) and yet symbolizes an intimacy that goes beyond sexual intimacy. Holding your partner’s hand says much more about what the relationship means. It offers comfort. It offers support and promises protection. It proclaims friendship, love, affection and that you are truly partnered in life. When you walk hand-in-hand you are going forward together, bonded to each other.

Not only that but studies have shown that just the touch of a partner’s hand can reduce stress and fear, making you less anxious in stressful situations. Perhaps we learned this sense of security when we were young and a protective parent held our hands as we navigated through childhood. Humans crave touch, and non-sexual touch can create feelings of peace and happiness as well as bestowing other physical benefits.

Throughout the movie Sleepless in Seattle, characters refer to the classic Cary Grant/Deborah Kerr film, An Affair to Remember. Whenever it is mentioned, the men snort derisively and call it a “chick flick”. The women cry over the poignant story of lovers separated by a twist of fate.

It’s a standard stereotype that men don’t enjoy romantic movies and that they are made for an audience of women. But a survey conducted by Richard Harris, professor of psychology at Kansas State University, shows guys like romantic movies too.

Using a scale of 7 points, Harris asked couples to rate a romantic movie they had just seen. Women rated their enjoyment of the film at a 6, fairly high. When men were asked how much they liked the movie, they rated it an average of 4.8, much higher than the stereotype would lead us to believe. However, when asked how men as a group would like the movie, both men and women fell back on stereotypes and said men wouldn’t like the movie.

Harris also asked women which scene they thought men would like best. They generally chose a sex scene and they were wrong, men didn’t choose a sex scene as their favorite scene as often as the women predicted.

The survey shows that men are more romantic than the stereotypical male image and that both men and women believe the sterotype to be true. The focus of romance is often centered on the woman and her needs for romance thought to be the greatest in a relationship. But in reality, men may be getting shortchanged in the romance department.

Study by K-State professor shows romantic films not just for women

In any relationship, disagreements are bound to come up at one time or another. How you and your partner handle differences of opinion may strengthen or destroy your relationship.

If you find that you and your partner are arguing constantly, it’s time to evaluate the relationship. But if your arguments are occasional or rare, understanding the difference between constructive and destructive arguments may help you avoid causing your relationship unnecessary harm.

1. What is the argument about? Once you have identified the conflict, then stick to the point and don’t let it stray to other issues.

2. Find time to talk it out Don’t start a discussion that you don’t have time to finish. You might even have to schedule your argument for a time when you are both ready and in a place that is suitable. Don’t argue when you are hungry, tired or upset!

3. Start sentences with “I” and not “You” Saying things like “You hurt me when…” or “You never do this for me…” are accusatory and blaming. Better to say “I feel hurt when…” or “I would like more help doing this…”.

4. Listen If you are preparing your response the entire time your mate is talking, you aren’t really hearing what they are saying. Try to understand how your mate feels. It must be important to him/her or you wouldn’t be having the discussion in the first place.

5. Don’t throw out insults Calling your partner lazy or stupid is going to turn the dicussion into a name-calling session and the problem will only get worse. Your partner is unlikely to listen to your point of view at that point.

6. Don’t be afraid to voice your feelings Let your partner know how strongly you feel about the issue, but also let him/her know how you feel about your relationship, and that you want to better it by resolving the conflict.

7. Don’t be defensive If you take the disagreement as a criticism of you, you will likely withdraw and not express your true feelings or opinions. Try to focus on the issue.

8. Stop if the argument becomes heated Agree to take a break from the argument if either of you becomes angry or needs to calm down. Taking time out is better than allowing the discussion to become destructive rather than constructive.

9. Don’t bring others into the argument Repeating what others think of the situation may work against you. Keep personal issues personal to avoid feelings of betrayal of trust.

10. Be willing to concede Winning is not the important thing in an argument but it is in your relationship.